We don't have forever
Ooh, baby daylight's wasting (wasting, wasting, wasting)
You better kiss me (kiss me)
Before our time has run out
Before they turn the lights out.
We all crank up the volume in our cars when Beyonce's latest hit comes on. That's just a truth, yeah? XO so incredibly empowering, and it pinpoints this desire that we have: to be loved now. Like, right now.
But here's my learning curve lately: True, authentic love, the kind I'm after anyway, is so freaking patient, and I am not.
1 John 4:8 tells us that God is Love, and we know from 1 Corinthians 13:4 that Love is patient, and Matthew 5:48 tells us we must strive for perfection, for our Heavenly Father is perfect (I'm just chucking these Bible verses at you). So we must practice this virtue of patience in a world where it seems like anything can be ours by clicks of buttons and clocks. Beyonce makes us want to have That Moment so badly, and she emphasizes the immediacy of this desire in her latest single XO.
But here's two important things to keep in mind when your heart races, and not in the fun-butterfly way:
1) You can't make him love you, and 2) Patience is a virtue which will be so beneficial for your heart.
Fr. Dominic Radecki writes, "Patience is exercised when we resign our will to the will of God and accept our crosses as coming from the hand of God for our welfare. Our individual burdens, whatever they may be, are God’s gift and have divine blessings for us, if we bear them in faith and love. When we call upon God for help, He will likely not take the load from our shoulders, but rather strengthen us to carry the burden."
Let's look at dat 1 Corinthians 13:4: Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not jealous, not pompous, not inflated...It bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Check it. It even endures time which, as Beyonce sings, always seems to be working against us. "Love me before they turn the lights out...we don't have forever...daylight's wasting...before our time runs out...LOVEMELOVEMELOVEME."
So here's a brief testimony without revealing too much of my heart, for as Christ tells St. Faustina, there are certain things that must be kept between our heart and His, things that even the angels must not know about: So I once had a conversation with a man, and we both admitted that we like each other. Obviously, joy erupted in my heart. But then he asked something of me: patience.
And. I. Said. Whut. Not really, I said yes, let's take it to prayer, yes, sounds like a good idea, etc, until the next morning when I did think, "whutwhutwhutwhut. Why not nowwwwww, damnit."
And it's because love is patient, and love cannot be rushed. (Pause here. I'm at my favorite cafe again and my Bible is on my lap. The letter I wrote to this guy just slipped out and fell across the floor. I haven't given it to him yet, and part of it was therapy, part of it is just a promise that I will continue to be patient for us to deal with the mess of our hearts. I remember after my first break up many of my girlfriends told me to write letters to the old bf but not to send them. Well, I sent them. Because I thought, 'What do they know,' and though I don't regret it, it's amazing what you learn about hearts when you expose your own...and how much you should probably listen to your girlfriends who were there before you..I digress).
So Valentine's Day is coming up, and it's another date and deadline before us. I never had a date on Valentine's Day, and I'm not one of those women who are adamantly opposed to this bogus holiday. I've read enough of those articles, and frankly, I think the holiday is cute. But how will I spend it again this year? Watching Parks & Rec and drinking fruity drinks with my closest of womenfolk.
But there's still that date looming before us, sometimes leaving an ugly reminder that we are alone, but there's a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. Proverbs 16:32 states that a patient woman is better than a warrior. Why? Because I still think it's more difficult to remain still than to fight, but we are still fighting those temptations and desires in our hearts.
We still kind of want that crashing and explosive and sudden love that Beyonce croons of, but how beautiful is it to remain still and patient and allow Love to take firm root, grow steadily, and blossom. We loved because He loved us first (1 John 15:19).
Beyonce, LOVE CANNOT BE RUSHED.