Single or Standing Alone

By Tena Jeppesen

The world is constantly reminding us of how 'alone' or how 'single' we are. It’s everywhere. Your tax return form, the Christian Mingle pop-up ads on your Facebook, your aunts checking up on you at every family event wondering when you’re going to get a boyfriend. You feel as if you’re trying as hard as you can to find someone that fits your ideals but it seems impossible and leaves you feeling empty and lonely. And yet it leads me to the question, when did singleness become such a horrible state of being?

When I was going to college a few years back, my mom gave me a little booklet entitled Single and Devoted by Kari de Leon. I was 21 at the time and totally pissed off when I found it in my bag of clean laundry that I had brought back with me to school. I tossed it up on the highest shelf, not giving it another thought. It wasn’t until the end of the semester when we were all cleaning out our rooms that I found it again and decided to page through it a little. Funny thing is, 3 years later, I still find myself going back to that booklet because I had never felt so confident in my 'singlehood' and even better yet, confident in my God. It reaffirmed me that God was still on my side. That His promises were still applicable to me, a dreaded single-ite, that may or may not end up with a man one day.

I’m not saying this booklet is the next Bible, but a few things definitely resonated with me the day I read it in my dorm room and still now, living with my (also) single roommate in my 2- bedroom apartment. Here are some things that I thought were worth noting.

1. The crazy truth is that God is in control.

He really has put you in the spot that you are in for a reason. He has purpose for you, despite the box you check on your yearly tax return. It is in trusting Him that you will find your happiness, purpose, and livelihood. Ephesians 1:11 says, “In him we were also chosen, destined in accord with the purpose of the One who accomplishes all things according to the intention of His will...” You are a huge part of God’s plan. Continue on your faith journey knowing that.

2. It’s ok to feel sad, lonely, unwanted.

These feelings are because of our broken world, but they are also feelings that will bring you closer to God. Pray through them and acknowledge the suffering. Offer it up to God and ask Him to use it for His good. Suffering allows us to be human and connect with other humans. Be strong and let God use you as a vessel to bring others to Him.

Sometimes you get so caught up in thinking you’re alone, that you forget you have the greatest friend, mentor, father, lover, etc. right next to you at every moment of every day. Lean on Him because He is even better than the most perfect boyfriend or husband you could ever imagine. He knows you better than you know yourself and can anticipate your every move. He loves your smile and your laugh because He was the one who created them. He’ll wipe away every tear because He knows all too well what suffering is. I’d take being single for the rest of my life knowing that I can depend on the one true God to love me to the fullest.