By Katie Trudeau
I have never been the girl to be “boy crazy.” In fact, I’ve never even held my relationships longer than a few months, but I have gone on too many dates to keep track of through the years.
Before we get all up in arms and start man-hating… just kidding... I think dating is a good thing, if done properly. But even more so, being open to dating is even more important!
In my singleness, I have been entrusted with many souls through the years. Most of these souls are people I knew in college. They are unbelievable young women with such good hearts at their core; they desire to love, and to be loved. Through their times of joys and sorrows, I’ve had time to listen to their questions, concerns, wedding vows, and everything in between.
I tell you this because it sets the stage to why being single is a GIFT. And if you do not truly believe that your singleness is a gift, then I ask you to go spend some time in deep prayer, in silence, and reflect on what is hampering you from this truth.
Being single allows you to grow in maternal love for your neighbor. In addition, it gives you an opportunity to use your “free time” for what God wills for you in this season. Surely, healing can be a top priority—but I promise that in giving, you receive. By using your free time for the free service of Jesus Christ, you will be transformed by your daily “yes.”
See, I work two jobs. Why? Because I’m an overachiever! No, it’s because I owe to Caesar what is Caesar’s (and yet still owe to God what is God’s).
Between a 9am-5pm job, and bartending evenings or weekends, how could I possibly find time to love others? Outside the “I love those who cross my path” comes prioritizing my time, canceling Netflix, using a calendar, showing up on time… all rooted in sacrifice.
“Love to be real, it must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.”
Our dearest Mother Teresa, is a role model for all women—young or old—to open their hearts to the free service of Jesus Christ. She didn’t have to do anything outside her prayers and daily routines. Instead, she vowed to Jesus to “not refuse Him anything”.
It’s a radical call because it derived from radical love. However, we cannot all do this in every season of our lives. Some of us have a boyfriend, husband, family… you name it… and that’s okay. You are not called to be the second coming of Mother Teresa, in fact she’d scold you if you tried!
You are called to be yourself, because there is no other person on the face of the earth who is just like you. No other person in the course of history will ever have your exact fingerprints to make a mark on this world in the way that you can. No other person has your path to sainthood.
Our decisions are important: to binge watch Netflix vs exercising, sleeping in vs waking up early, eating out vs cooking at home, etc. We can choose virtue, vice, or comfort.
For me, I have started to finally find some balance in my life at the old age of 24. I have done fads, broke promises, disappointed others (and even disappointed myself) -- you name it... I’ve failed! My small success rate has been found in the tiniest daily habits that I can build to keep a good foundation of virtue, to “set me straight” as my father would say.
My days consist of: exercising in the morning, going to work, and praying or reading on my commute. My evenings can rotate between volunteering, working my second job, or spending 1-2 hours on the phone checking in with friends, family or young women I’ve been praying for.
If someone were to describe me, they would say that I am a good communicator. I humbly agree.
I believe that we are all far too prideful creatures. Our flesh fights our spirit; therefore, we choose to live in shame with a beautiful application of our best makeup, than to be vulnerable about our wounds, flaws, or struggles. That’s why I’ve made it my mission to be as open, honest, and available as possible.
Feminism, sisterhood, whatever you want to call it… it starts with you and I. We must listen, support, and encourage each other in our daily ups and downs. Nobody should ever feel alone.
As Mother Teresa would say, “God still loves the world through you and through me.”
Whether you have always wanted to volunteer at a hospital, play an intramural sport, take a cooking class, bartend, start cycling/spin classes… go do it! The desires He’s placed in you are GOOD and you are GOOD. You never know the souls you’ll meet along the way that may need your love, wisdom, or just fun personality in their life right now, or even for years to come.
Your clock has not stopped, so why have you stopped? I am here to remind you that God has GIFTED you with another day on this earth and He wants you to ENJOY the season He’s placed you in. I promise that if you invest your time wisely, God will show you how to use it wisely.
I am praying for you dear sister, that you may be a vessel of love, joy and mercy in the world by using the gifts God has entrusted to you for the greater glory of the Kingdom.