Someone Like That



Carolyn Shields

I want a man who will not passionately or dramatically, but will adamantly cradle my face in his hands and say, "Hey, I love you kid" and deal with my probable tears like a man. Someone who may pause and look up at the night sky and lay in awe with me and accidentally wish on those satellites. Who will fill the absence I feel on Saturday nights when I stand alone on top parking garages, looking down at my city with a Swisher sweet in hand and listening to just okay music. Who will know immediately that if I'm not answering his texts, I'm probably sprawling in the chapel. I want someone like that.

Someone who would have the courage to knock the apple out of my hand, even if I'm sinking my teeth into it and call me out on being an idiot and forgetting His promise. Someone who is terrified of losing me but who would be okay without me. Who is not just waiting for me but getting ready for me and isn't afraid to embrace his own life right now. Someone who would at least consider maybe just drinking milk with me on Friday night and not Yeungling, though if we do drink, you can be damn sure it will be Yeungling. A man who honors my father and is even intimidated by him, is kind of like him but also definitely not. I want someone brave enough to take leaps of faith not for me but with me, even if we crash. I want someone like that.

Someone who will one day build a lemonade stand for our kiddos and let me paint it, and will give me most of the responsibility when it comes to decorating our first and last home. A man with his own sense of humor and a taste in music. Good music. And share that with me. A man who wants to study my heart and find what makes me tick, explode, and blush. Who knows that I'm just sappy but I can't stand being delivered the sap--I have to be the mailwoman when it comes to that. A man who has a favorite picture of me, asks about my grandma, and endures my awkward little ways. I want someone like that.

A man who gets that I'm prone to anxiety attacks, the incredibly non-cute kind, and sometimes I may just need to hear his voice to get through it. Who knows I drink my coffee black. Someone who knows I usually act on emotion first and need his logic to balance me out, and that I just feel so, so much. Who won't complete me but will complement me. A man who finds me a priority, endearing, innocent, authentic, occasionally really boring. Who might one day look back on our twenty years of marriage and be most thankful for just hanging out with me on every single one of those days. I want someone like that.

A man who will one day not just give me his time of day, his attention, his word, or even a promise, but who will make a vow before a hundred of our closest family and friends who stood witness to our relationship. I pray for someone like that.