Embracing Detachment


By Sarah Kozak

I used to think of detachment as this terrible thing. That it could be translated as giving up on hope, ignoring the desires of your heart, and slamming the door shut on the very things you were hoping would happen.

But I was so wrong.

I’ve learned that detachment isn’t a condemnation; instead, it’s an invitation to let God into every part of a situation so that He can take control instead of you trying to figure things out on your own.

It’s only when we learn detachment that we are able to understand what it truly means to love.

 It transforms selfish, fear-driven love into Agape love, the love that is most like the love which the Father has for us.

It is this kind of love that is free.

Free from fear, free from uncertainty about the future, free from expectations, free from seeking our own interests…Freely and wholeheartedly given.

Detachment allows us to completely desire the good of the other. Because if we’ve surrendered our own desires, knowing that God’s plan will provide everything that they (and yourself) will need, we can rest in the peace of knowing that our Father will only ever give what is good.

Detachment strips us. It removes our mask and forces us to come face-to-face with ourselves. It’s like when a woman takes off her make up at the end of the day and looks at herself in the mirror…

Stripped. Emptied. Naked. Exposed. Vulnerable.

But it’s only when detachment completely empties us, that we are finally able to see ourselves for who we truly are.

As St. John says, “Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed. We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” -1 John 3:2

Detachment empties us in order that we can be filled solely by the love of the Father. “Exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings” (Be Satisfied With Me Prayer). It reveals to us who we truly are- Beloved. A reflection of the love that makes up the Father’s heart, as a way for Him to reveal that love to the world.

I’ve learned that detachment leads to hope, not despair.

To freedom, not to control.

To trust, rather than to fear.

And the realization that love…true love, will pierce your heart.

Just as He allowed His heart to be pierced out of love for you first.